Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day

I woke up this morning...crying. I know, horrible right? I miss my grandmother. My middle child (who reminds me the most of her and is therefore a comfort at these moments) was at a sleepover and did not want to come home because she feels she has an annoying little brother. Sigh. He is pretty annoying. I did not let on I was sad and needy. I played it cool.

So then I had another good cry, got a sympathetic hug from Jack who was then out the door for tennis. I spent a good part of the morning trying to cheer myself up. I looked at some of these funnies and I did laugh out loud a few times.

I would really like to say that about 20 times a day. It WOULD save a lot of time and besides, it is mostly true.

This makes me happy. I began to feel better. I don't know that woman but I love her.

Amen. No need to go to church after reading that one. Check.

Okay, maybe it was good middle child was having a nice peaceful morning somewhere else.

Then eldest daughter woke up and she'd bought me a nice funny card and an Amy Winehouse cd (Frank), and some gum which was thoughful because middle child always eats my gum. I go to get a piece after lunch and end up exclaiming, "Sadie" like Jerry says "Newman." The presents had a bow and everything!

We laughed over the fact that her boyfriend got his mother a card in Spanish (she does not speak Spanish) and he ate half the box of chocolates he bought her. I hope she is taking notes but it was funny. She then went to work but we ate cake together for breakfast first - just because.
I think I have done a fairly good job as a parent so far.

I am not a fan of forced holidays like this. I wanted nothing and I had no expectations.

It would be nice if they remembered though. My son, unsurprisingly, completely forgot, wanted me to take him shopping and acted like I was that witch with the flying monkeys when I said no but that SO wasn't going to happen. Next outing I do plan to see if this book exists in the 9 yr old version. ;)

I started to feel a little blue again but we tried a game of old fashioned Scrabble. It was okay. He has the attention span of a gnat sometimes (or maybe that is my patience span - so hard to call it) so I sent him outside.

First I thought I would start to read my favorite biography in the world, "The Last Lion," again for some entertainment and inspiration but I started to fall back asleep.

This is funny, come on....

I then downloaded "David Sedaris Live." On a day like this, instant gratification is such a really positive thing. I laughed a bunch and then still kept trying to fall asleep.

Oh wait...Yes, I am probably depressed but it is okay. It happens. Life is particularly laden with heavy responsibility right now and what the hell, I miss my grandmother like crazy today. I am laden with thoughts of tomorrow and all I have to do and what I could be doing now to mitigate it but instead am choosing not to because I worked about 70 hours last week and I am tired.

I know the drill. And I have a lot to be grateful for. Jack is making shrimp and some argula salad for dinner later. At some point I might get off my bum and take an hour power walk or not, depending. Middle child will come home and everyone will be together for dinner - for better or worse.

In no time at all I will back to my normal self. I always do get over these blues.

In the meantime...

And for real...

Because tomorrow it is back to this whether I feel it or not.

When I will be sure to be...

Everyone deserves a day to just be however they feel and today I am just so...

And am wanting so much for the world to have no expectations of me either. That is the best Mother's Day gift I can think of at the moment.


1 comment:

  1. Happy Belated Mother's Day, B. This is a great one! Love all these quotes...need to write a few down---esp the first one. Bon weekend to you! xo